When you’re talking to him, and you start crying because you want so badly to be having this conversation in person, so that you could watch his face, see the way his eyes change, and the way his mouth would curve up in that little half smile because you being so serious makes him smile.
Yeah. It hurts.
You know that boy I told you about, Well he’s probably a man by now. But he’s coming home soon. Well kinda. 55 days probably seems soon to most people, but to us Military SOs it can seem like a life time. The letters get me through most days, but that doesn’t mean they keep away the tears at night. That doesn’t mean when his mom calls from his house phone and his picture pops up that my heart doesn’t stop in that instant. When people ask me how I’m doing, I can say I’m doing fine, but believe me there are nights when I’m not. But I am doing better. I can feel it. My spirits are higher, my heart is warmer. I know he loves me and can’t wait to come home to me, which makes this experience a little easier. You know, people tell me not to be sad or tell me I am going to be okay, and they are right I am going to be okay, but I have every right to be sad when I wanna be sad. Take the love of your life away for 3 months and tell me your heart doesn’t hurt every second that they’re away. But none of the sadness matters to me, none of the tears matter, because in the end I wouldn’t trade anything I’m going through, because in the end it’s all completely worth it. And I will feel that for sure when he’s back in my arms that day that we go pick him up. I can’t wait for that night! I love you Trevor Joe, And to all the other Military Ladies, hang in there, I know it’s hard, believe me, but We will be rewarded in the end. :)
In 26 days I will be in Parris Island SC watching the love of my life graduate from Marine bootcamp. I cannot begin to tell you how overly excited I am. I know that I cannot really show much affection that day because it’s just family day but I can’t wait to just see him again and hear him say I love you. I know that when I see him and when he sees me everything is going to come back and all those feelings that he left behind when he left 2 months ago will be there again. These past 2 months have been pretty rough but being with him again will make everything worth it. I am so happy that this time apart has started to go by faster. He will never understand how much he means to me and he will probably never understand how hard it has been to be away from him. You know before he left my biggest fear was that he would give up on me and though this time has testest our love for each other I know that he hasn’t given up. He has shown me what truelove is and that no matter what we go through he is never going to give up on us. In his letters he constantly tells me he loves me and he will always love me and this past week I realized that that’s all I will ever need. Yeah it’s hard being away from him but it would be even harder to live without him being mine. So these next 26 days I’m going to pump myself up for our time together! I cannot wait! I love you Trevor joe always have and always will.